4 years post op and what have I learned?

So in two days I will be 4 years post op. Amazing! Absolutely amazing journey in so many ways. I am not at my goal weight. In fact I am having a bit of regain.

As I stood in the shower this morning I remember many a time at my highest weight I would vow that if I was ever back to normal and I gained even 10 pounds it would go no further. I would stop the weight gain then and there.
"It's NOT about the WEIGHT I've been told". But even in my pre-op therapy evaluation I remember telling the therapist... "ok now I GET IT. I know I'm fat. I know I over eat... okay? I GET IT! I get that I got here bite by bite and pound by pound. If I get this chance I won't blow it."

But here I am about 10 pounds over my lowest of 177 from a high of 391 and will I blow it?

I walked most days for more than a year. I stopped and its oh so much harder going back to it. I started again today. I have a Dr. appointment in 30 days... I need to walk 30 days and get my act together so I don't go in there with a 12 pound gain or worse!
 
Am I woman enough to make this happen? I think I am. I'll keep me posted on here. Kinda an accountability thing.

4 years! Amazing! Time flies! I am grateful every day for this amazing gift I have been given and I don't intend to blow it!

Top 10 Changes in my Life since I had Gastric Bypass

1.   I can walk long distances and only get bored not tired.
2.   When I walk I can feel the air whistling past my lady parts (Thanks to tummy tuck surgery that ALLOWED me to now have my lady parts within "view")
3.   I can walk up a curb... even 14 inch curbs in the street without having to use something to hike me up.
4.   I can walk up stairs unaided by a handrail.
5.   I can easily turn in bed.
6.   I can stand for long periods of time.
7.   I can put on my shoes without sitting down first.
8.   I can step into my slacks without sitting down...I can step INTO them standing.
9.   Airplane seat belt HURRAH!!!
10.  I can collect a can or package of food for every pound I've lost for the annual Food Drive. Thank you Eggface for the idea!

Post Weight Loss Surgery Yes or No?

A dream for me... way out there somewhere was to actually have some kind of surgery on my tummy "someday". The opportunity has arisen and suggested and pushed by my surgeon to have it now that I have to have another surgery. One hospitalization one co pay... great idea. Oh ... yes did you know that these insurance companies are NOT your friend? I am very grateful that my insurer paid for my RNY and 33 months ago I had that surgery and have now lost almost 200 pounds.
This is the deal... my insurer will pay to have my tummy lopped off BUT will NOT pay to have what I thought was a Tummy Tuck. My pannis hangs well below and almost halfway to my knees and that's a good thing because they will pay a small portion to have it hacked off ....but no muscle tightening, no invisible dissoluble stitches and no contouring... what they will allow is staples (OUCH) and a night or two in the hospital and the skin hacked off. If I want the other version it will cost me about $6,000.00 ... so the question is... do I spend $6,000.00 EXTRA to get a relatively flat abdomen and my musckles tightened? Or just get it hacked off and stapled? What would you do? it's not like I am going to wear a bikini any time soon (or ever again). Am I going to have another intimate new relationship? It's not like that is my only flaw and it's not like others in my age range don't have scars and stuff.  $6000.00 in additon to my deductibles that's over 12k... but honestly I have to pay about 6k for suregry anyway... what's another 6?
I hadn't realized how awful my tummy was untilt hey took pictures in the plastic surgeons office I handed them my camera and asked them to take a couple shots too. Oh ohhhh my thighs! Oy vey!

New Years Resolutions!

I saw or rather noticed my 1st Weight Watchers commercial on TV this morning and realized that for the first time in recent memory I will NOT be stewing about adding Weight Watchers to my weekly plan of joining now while the joining fee is waived. Yeah WLS!

I love WW and their program although it is a little heavy on carbs for this new WLS person. Balance and veggies... what could be bad.

But back to not having to feel guilty about joining... now do I feel guilty about not having to join? Nawwwwww Whooooopeeeeeee!

EXCITED!

Happy New Year me!

Just so I won't forget....

Since this is ALL ABOUT ME.
A new vendor came into the office a couple times and wanted to take me out to lunch. I largely don't "do" lunch with strangers and particularly vendor who may or may not be here today and gone tomorrow so I was joking with hm and said my table manners were atrocious and I was not a good or suitable lunch attendee (I told (suggested) her take my assistant out for lunch). He looked at me and said "Gee, come on look at you how much could you eat? WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that shocked me ... in  a good way 1st because he never ever knew me at almost 400 pounds and 2nd because I am so small... well except for my giant legs and he had only seen me behind the desk. BLEW MY MIND! whooppeee
Also went on my 1st hike in many years in Crestline this past weekend... a mountainous area about 4000 ft. IN So. California and over uneven terrain and although I did suffer from a lack of confidence I did complete the very short hike 9Maybe a mile or a little more) and went up and down. Another thing - a non-scale victory and something I haven't done for almost 10 years I'd bet.
Yeah Meeeeeeeeeeee Thank you to my Dr. as well... he made this possible so I tanked him yesterday when I had my quarterly visit. 28 months today!

103 Weeks out

Yeah one more week and I will be at two year surgiversary! Wow the time has flown by which is a testament in any one's hesitancy to have the surgery I am thinking.
HAVE IT and the time just slips by. Which it would have done anyway ... but wow what a great couple of years with a lot of learning and a lot of good experiences.
I was at group the other night and sat next to woman who I sat next to 13 months ago she told me. She had just had surgery a week or two previously and I was impressed that she was out and about and COOKING for her family at 2 weeks from surgery!
13 months later and we look FABBBBBBULOUS although we both have more weight to lose... she about the same as I but not the same kind of weight. My legs are the issue and she is still overall a little plump. Will try and do a more reflective post on my surgiversary on the 9th but need to formulate a little more.

UGhhhh Some habits die hard. DIE bad habits DIE!

We got cookies at the office for Christmas and the can is down to the final few. Sure I take a couple now and then. I am not a cookie fiend so I feel that a cookie occasionally if properly administered is ok. HOWEVER
Knowing that the cookie tin is shrinking and seeing others go to the cookie tin and remove what may be the final cookies really bothers me. WHY?
I can buy cookies if I want and any amount that I want if I want to.
I don't mind sharing.
I don't NEED them.
Am i just being greedy?
Am I compelled to have cookies?
I think this is by-product of my overweight of so many years I feel competitive.
I want them to leave me the last cookie... after all I'm the boss.
Oh PLEASE! Buy your own darn cookies or not.
They are employees for heaven's sake let them have them!!
They are just COOKIES!
Ok I feel better... kinda.
BRB I need to see if the cookies are gone... hehehe
I want the empty tin too.
PS there were Holiday cookies in the freezer from Christmas 2009 here and I threw them away when the 2010 cookies started arriving. WHAT is the ISSUE you dim wit?
Buy your own darn cookies if you want a cookie so bad.
Die urge for cookies DIE!
Anyone else feel so compulsed for some food item?
I hate this feeling!